But I discovered that God walks alongside us as we are surviving grief.

If you’re early in your walk with grief, please be assured that the hard, all-consuming heaviness you feel right now does not last forever. In the beginning, grief can feel like a tidal wave, knocking the wind out of you when you least expect it.

Jesus, who wept at Lazarus’s tomb, understands loss. He is not distant from our sorrow; He enters into it with us.

When we think of all the emotions that come with grief the first one that often comes to mind is sadness. And while sadness is certainly part of the journey, it is far from the whole picture. Grief is more than one emotion.

As Mother’s Day approaches, our hearts are stirred in countless ways. For many, it’s a day filled with love, laughter, and cherished memories. But for others, it’s also a day tinged with sorrow — mothers grieving the loss of children, daughters mourning the absence of their mothers. It’s a complicated mixture of gratitude and grief, joy and pain. Because of grief, we are changed by loss, held by grace.

Hold your memories close. Treasure each one. Spend time with the people you love while you still can.

Your grief is personal. Your love is sacred. Follow your heart and grieve with grace and courage. Your heart knows the way.

This week marks Melanie’s 6th birthday in Heaven. Another birthday, another year gone by without her. Is it easier? In some ways, yes. I no longer feel the extreme heaviness of grief that I felt in the earlier years, but it’s still hard. The missing never ends and I never expect it will.

Secondary losses are the additional effects of a primary loss. When we experience grief, these secondary losses can blindside us. We may expect to mourn the death of our loved one, but the way that grief expands—touching every aspect of life—can be unexpected and overwhelming.

Our grief is not linear. Some days, we feel overwhelmed by sadness; other days, we can laugh, smile, and find happiness in the smallest moments.

But living without hope is impossible. Hope is our oxygen. It’s the fuel that keeps us going when times are tough, giving us the strength to press on through the challenges we face during loss, and the vision to dream of better days.

When we are experiencing sorrow due to loss it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. We may question our strength, doubt our purpose, or even feel abandoned by God. But it is precisely in these moments that we are brought face to face with our deepest vulnerabilities.

Grief is a journey that touches every one of us at some point in our lives, whether through personal loss or supporting a grieving friend. In these moments, we want to offer comfort, but sometimes well-meaning words can cause unintended pain.

Even though this journey has been the hardest thing I’ve ever walked through, there comes a time when we can choose joy and remember the love more than the loss. Choosing joy means finding moments of happiness in the midst of sorrow, whether it’s a shared memory, or a comforting word. Remembering the love more than the loss involves focusing on the positive impact Melanie had on my life and the lives of others, rather than the pain of her absence.

Although wounds do become scars, those scars become stories. I truly believe we are meant to share our stories with one another. By doing so, they offer hope to others along the way.  

As the anniversary day approaches, we are flooded with memories and emotions. This day can be incredibly challenging, as it often brings the pain of loss back to the surface.

we may feel emotionally overwhelmed, exhausted, or simply unable to engage in the usual routines of social interaction. Grief can be incredibly draining, and it’s not unusual for us to retreat inward as we process our loss. The isolation of grief can come from a place of self-protection – when we are deep in our sorrow, we may feel vulnerable, fear being a burden, and struggle with the intensity of our emotions.

Some say that time heals all wounds, but I don’t believe it. What I do believe is when we walk in faith, God continually heals our broken heart. I believe a scar begins to develop over the open wound in our heart and as time goes by the pain may begin to ease.

You would think that despite the passage of time our emotions accompanying grief would dissipate. I will admit, the intensity of them does lessen. Yet, they are always there, simmering just underneath the surface like the hot, red lava that bubbles up after a volcanic explosion.