Making Beauty from the Ashes

It was 5 years ago today when Melanie ran ahead to Heaven, and even now, it still feels like yesterday and forever all at the same time. We’re all familiar with the saying, “Time is a funny thing,” aren’t we? But in the case of marking the time when your child dies, there is nothing funny about it, is there? I’ve often said child loss is a loss like no other. A parent is never supposed to outlive their child. We can often become laser focused on the why, and thankfully, with the blessing of time I no longer ask that question. Instead, I trust in God’s plan, knowing there is a greater purpose for this path and one I will be fully aware of one day. As hard as the grief journey has been, God is making beauty from the ashes in a way that only He can do. He has brought people into my life who have shared their own stories of loss and healing, and through these connections, I have found strength and hope. 

Even though this journey has been the hardest thing I’ve ever walked through, there comes a time when we can choose joy and remember the love more than the loss. Choosing joy means finding moments of happiness in the midst of sorrow, whether it’s a shared memory, or a comforting word. Remembering the love more than the loss involves focusing on the positive impact Melanie had on my life and the lives of others, rather than the pain of her absence.

I’m beyond grateful for my faith, which has not only given me the strength to walk through this journey but also empowered me to face each day. For me, the only way to come out standing was to be on my knees each and every day. There is a great song by Phil Wickham that says, “When I fight, I’ll fight on my knees, with my hands lifted high. Oh God, the battle belongs to you.” It was there on my knees that I could catch glimpses of light in the darkness and see how he began making beauty from the ashes. Today, when I think about Melanie, I choose to look back at how God has brought me through the last 1,825 days.

Only God can turn our mourning into dancing. Only God can take the worst thing to happen to us and turn it around for His good. I once read something that said, “Your ministry is found where you’ve been broken. Your testimony is found where you’ve been restored.” This is such a powerful truth and is something only God can do. 

Moving forward does not mean that we leave our loved ones behind. That is impossible. I miss Melanie every day and instead choose to bring the best parts of her with me. I have her thumbprint on a necklace I wear every day with an inscription that says, “Melanie, I will carry you with me in my heart always.” I can do that because her heart lives within my heart. No matter whether Heaven and Earth separate us, she will always be my girl, and I will always be her mama. This enduring connection with Melanie is a source of comfort and strength for me, and I hope it can be for you too.

I’m deeply sorry for the loss each of you have encountered. Even the saddest experiences can become a source of wisdom and strength once we have made peace with them. I could write about all the sadness that surrounded the loss of my beautiful girl, but I choose to remember the good. I am choosing to remember the love. Due to the loss of my one girl, her story lives on and touches hearts and lives across many countries. This transformation of grief into hope is not just my story, but a testament to the power of faith and love. The main message is this: There is Hope During Loss, and it’s all because of Jesus.