Learning to Live Around the Grief

If you’re early in your walk with grief, please be assured that the hard, all-consuming heaviness you feel right now does not last forever. In the beginning, grief can feel like a tidal wave, knocking the wind out of you when you least expect it. I will never, ever forget the early days when Melanie first ran ahead to Heaven. The pain is raw, real, and overwhelming. You may wonder how you’ll ever breathe without aching, laugh without guilt, or even make it through another day. I’ve been there. And I want to gently remind you – you won’t always feel this way. One day you will come to a place of learning to live around the grief.

Yes, grief can last a lifetime—but not in the way you may fear. When someone first told me this, it didn’t sound very encouraging. In fact, it felt like a life sentence. I couldn’t imagine how I would live with that kind of sorrow constantly pressing on my chest. But what I’ve come to understand is this: over time, we learn how to live our lives around the grief. It becomes part of our story, but not the whole story.

There are days when the weight of the loss will still take your breath away. But there will also be days filled with joy, laughter, and peace.

Grief reshapes us, but it doesn’t have to define us.

And here’s the greatest truth I’ve come to hold close: God is with us in the grief. In all His magnificence and mercy, He does not leave us to carry this weight alone. Just like in the poem Footprints, when we are too broken to take another step, He carries us. Sometimes quietly, sometimes through the presence of others, but always faithfully.

So, if today feels too heavy, take heart. You are not alone. This pain will not always consume you. With time, grace, and God’s steady hand, you’ll learn to live again—not apart from your grief, but alongside it. And one day, when you least expect it, the sun will break through the clouds again.