When tragedy strikes and the dam of sorrow bursts, we are thrust back into a place we thought we had left behind. The ache is raw, and the grief feels new, even if it’s old. What do we do?

No matter how long it’s been since my daughter ran ahead to Heaven, I have come to terms with the fact that grief is a lifelong journey. Because of that, I’m always continuing to learn how to live life around it.

As time moves forward it’s quite natural that others around us seem to forget that we are still missing a big piece of our hearts. I don’t blame them for forgetting. It’s not until a piece of our heart is no longer with us that it hits home.

Every year the month of July is designated as Bereaved Parents Awareness Month. There was a time in my life when I never knew such a thing existed. However, now, as a parent who has a child who ran ahead to heaven, I’m all too painfully aware.

No matter the storm, sing. Give thanks. Stare at majesty.

But I discovered that God walks alongside us as we are surviving grief.

I’m sure you’ve heard that grief is like the ocean—vast, deep, and ever-changing. One moment, the waters are calm, and you find a sense of peace as memories gently brush the shore of your heart. The next moment, without warning, a storm rolls in, and you’re overwhelmed by crashing waves of sorrow and longing. It doesn’t follow a schedule or respect the passage of time. It simply is—a force of nature that becomes a part of us.

If you’re early in your walk with grief, please be assured that the hard, all-consuming heaviness you feel right now does not last forever. In the beginning, grief can feel like a tidal wave, knocking the wind out of you when you least expect it.

Memorial Day is traditionally a time to honor those who gave their lives in military service. But for many, this day holds a deeper, more personal weight. It’s a reminder of every kind of loss—the child gone too soon, the sibling who never came home, the friend whose laughter now only lives in memory.

Jesus, who wept at Lazarus’s tomb, understands loss. He is not distant from our sorrow; He enters into it with us.

When we think of all the emotions that come with grief the first one that often comes to mind is sadness. And while sadness is certainly part of the journey, it is far from the whole picture. Grief is more than one emotion.

Hold your memories close. Treasure each one. Spend time with the people you love while you still can.

Your grief is personal. Your love is sacred. Follow your heart and grieve with grace and courage. Your heart knows the way.

This week marks Melanie’s 6th birthday in Heaven. Another birthday, another year gone by without her. Is it easier? In some ways, yes. I no longer feel the extreme heaviness of grief that I felt in the earlier years, but it’s still hard. The missing never ends and I never expect it will.

Our grief is not linear. Some days, we feel overwhelmed by sadness; other days, we can laugh, smile, and find happiness in the smallest moments.

When we are experiencing sorrow due to loss it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. We may question our strength, doubt our purpose, or even feel abandoned by God. But it is precisely in these moments that we are brought face to face with our deepest vulnerabilities.

Grief is a journey that touches every one of us at some point in our lives, whether through personal loss or supporting a grieving friend. In these moments, we want to offer comfort, but sometimes well-meaning words can cause unintended pain.

Even though this journey has been the hardest thing I’ve ever walked through, there comes a time when we can choose joy and remember the love more than the loss. Choosing joy means finding moments of happiness in the midst of sorrow, whether it’s a shared memory, or a comforting word. Remembering the love more than the loss involves focusing on the positive impact Melanie had on my life and the lives of others, rather than the pain of her absence.

Although wounds do become scars, those scars become stories. I truly believe we are meant to share our stories with one another. By doing so, they offer hope to others along the way.

As the anniversary day approaches, we are flooded with memories and emotions. This day can be incredibly challenging, as it often brings the pain of loss back to the surface.