Writings

Recently I heard a local news report which involved the Medical Examiner who attended Melanie when she died. Apparently his parents and 19 year old son were murdered. Sadly he found them. Soon after hearing this I woke up in the middle of the night with a very heavy heart. There are still nights whenContinue reading “Triggers: Reliving My Nightmare in Room 221”

Sounds like a simple enough question, doesn’t it? Well, to most people it is simple. But, if you’re a parent whose child died this is no longer just a simple question. When walking this grief journey how do you answer the question, “How many children do you have?” How many of you remember the firstContinue reading “How Many Children Do You Have?”

I first heard the term “grieving with hope” when my pastor called the day after Melanie died. I didn’t recall hearing that before, but today I cling to it like my own personal life preserver. Why? Because it means I will see my daughter again. It means that this isn’t the end. I will getContinue reading “Grieve With Hope: What Does it Mean?”

How often have you asked yourself the question, “How did we get here? How did we end up walking this grief journey? Could I have stopped it? Was there something different I could have done?” As I’ve navigated this journey these are just a few of the questions I have often asked myself. In today’sContinue reading “The Encounter”

As some of you know, I had a 20-year career with Delta Air Lines. It was a wonderful time in my life, and I thoroughly enjoyed this period of my professional career. It afforded our family the opportunity to take trips all over the world and create some beautiful memories. After Melanie ran ahead toContinue reading “Grief: Five Little Letters That Change Your Entire Life”

As I find myself entering my 3rd year on this grief journey I’ve contemplated this question multiple times. We all strive to be normal, but what exactly does that mean? And what is normal after your child dies? Being normal was also the cry of my girl’s heart. I can so clearly hear Melanie’s voiceContinue reading “What is Normal After Child Loss?”

A few weeks ago, I listened to a podcast featuring Rick & Kay Warren who talked about their son, Matthew, who took his life in 2013. I’ve heard Rick speak numerous times, but I had never heard Kay speak on the death of their child. If you have time, take a few minutes to listen.Continue reading “The Many Faces of Grief”

Do you sometimes feel like you’re dragging yourself through each day, wondering if you’ll be able to take the next step? If you’ve lost a loved one and find yourself on this road called grief, I’m sure there are moments when you are a weary traveler. Weariness is part of the journey. Being broken isContinue reading “Are You a Weary Traveler?”

My Dear Melanie, Two years ago today you ran ahead to heaven. It seems like a minute and an eternity all at the same time. Some have asked if it has become easier over time. I hesitate for only a moment, because truly how does it get easier when you lose a child? It neverContinue reading “Dear Melanie: A Minute and An Eternity”

When grief strikes, broken is one of the first words that comes to mind when trying to describe how we feel. Losing a loved one shatters our heart and mind, which can completely alter our lives. Grief changes us and we may never be the same person we once were. Recently I was speaking withContinue reading “Kintsugi: Broken Pieces Made Beautiful”

After Melanie died, life as I knew it came to a screeching halt. Today, I’m still figuring things out. This grief journey continues to teach me things. Although I hoped I’d be much further ahead by now, I guess I’ll always be learning something about this road I didn’t choose to be on. I’ve alwaysContinue reading “Anxiety + Fear = Grief: Still Figuring Things Out”

Today is the first day of February and I won’t sugar coat it – this month is a tough one for me. It’s the month Melanie ran ahead to heaven and I’m certain that no matter how much time goes by there will never be a day during this month when I don’t reflect backContinue reading “Growing Through Grief”

Since Melanie ran ahead to heaven, I’ve had the opportunity to talk with many parents who have lost their children. Many of these losses have been due to the disease of addiction, along with suicide. Regardless of the cause of death, child loss truly is a loss like no other. When Melanie died I can’tContinue reading “Forgiveness – The 6th Stage of Grief?”

Today marks the official release of my book, Beautifully Broken: Finding Hope During Loss! Thank you all so much for your amazing support! There has been such an overwhelming response that Amazon has already sold out of my book and my publisher is having to print more! If you don’t see it available at AmazonContinue reading “It’s Finally Here – Release Day!”

This past week I was saddened to hear about the death of actor, Bob Saget. For those who may not be familiar with Bob, he portrayed the dad on the television series, Full House. I remember watching this show every week, and binge watched every episode again last year with my youngest son. Along withContinue reading “Where’s My Promised Land?”

The longer I walk this grief journey the more I realize how difficult it is for people to understand those who grieve. It’s especially hard for some to do this without making their own judgment and assumptions. As this journey continues to unfold I realize there are many who will never understand this road weContinue reading “Judgment and Assumption vs. Understanding”

Whew, we made it! Sound familiar? Recently, these are the words I heard from countless others who were grieving the loss of loved ones over the holidays. I can totally understand where this comes from, but oh, how I wish it weren’t so. Instead of Whew, we made it! I long for the day whenContinue reading “Whew! We Made It!”

As I begin to pack away the Christmas ornaments on the tree my mind begins to think about the new year that looms in front of me. For grievers, many are thankful to have made it through Christmas and now we have New Year’s and all the worldly celebrations in front of us. Tell me,Continue reading “Is Your New Year Filled with Hope or Dread?”

In just 3 short days it will be Christmas. I thought my heart was prepared to celebrate my second Christmas without my girl, but that’s simply not the case. Although God continues to heal my broken heart, no matter how much time passes by there really is no preparation to escape the loss we feelContinue reading “Longing to See Beautiful Again”

As the days inch closer to December 25th Christmas memories fill my mind and heart. Memories can hurt and cause an ache and missing so deep within, but if we let them memories can also bring joy. If we can choose joyful memories, then slowly glimpses of happiness like sunshine peeking out through the cloudsContinue reading “Christmas Memories”