When Grief Comes in Waves

One of the hardest parts of grief is this: just when you think you're doing okay… a wave comes.

A song. A scent. A memory. A date on the calendar.

Suddenly the grief you thought had softened comes rushing back, and you find yourself wondering, Why does it still hurt this much?

If this has happened to you, please know something important: this is not a setback. This is how grief works. It's part of the journey.

One of the most confusing things about grief is that it rarely moves in a straight line.

Some days feel surprisingly calm. You might even catch yourself laughing or enjoying a moment with friends. For a brief time, the waters of your heart feel still.

And then, without warning, a wave rolls in.

Sometimes the wave comes when you least expect it — while folding laundry, driving in the car, hearing a song on the radio, or simply hearing their name.

We often reference how much grief moves like the ocean. Some days it's a quiet tide gently brushing the shore of your heart. Other days it arrives like a storm, overwhelming and powerful.

Neither one means you are doing grief “wrong.”

The waves come because love remains.

Every memory, every moment shared, every place they once filled in your life leaves an imprint. When those memories surface, the waves follow.

But over time something begins to change.

The waves may still come, but they no longer pull you under the way they once did. You begin to find your footing again. You learn how to stand, even when the water rises around you.

As someone walking this road myself, I can tell you this: the waves of grief never completely disappear, but they do become gentler with time.

And when they come, they remind us of something beautiful.

We grieve deeply because we loved deeply.

And love like that never truly fades. 💜