Why Grief is So Exhausting

When my daughter first died, I had no idea how grief is so exhausting. It took a while for me to realize that grief is not just something we feel—it is something we carry. Day after day. Some mornings, the weight greets us before our feet ever touch the floor. Other days, it settles in quietly as the hours pass, leaving us bone-tired by evening. It has a way of wearing us down, not only emotionally, but physically and mentally as well.

So why is grief so exhausting? Loss and sorrow drain our spirit, bodies, and minds all at once. Even when we are desperately tired, sleep can feel elusive. Our bodies ache for rest, yet our thoughts refuse to slow down. Memories replay. Questions surface. The mind searches for what was, what might have been, and what now lies ahead.

In the midst of this exhaustion, there is often practical work that must be done. Phone calls to make. Paperwork to complete. Decisions to face. Sadly, the world doesn’t pause for grief, and it can feel deeply unfair that when your heart longs to curl up and cry, responsibility still demands your attention. Carrying grief while managing life’s necessities can feel so overwhelming.

One of the main reasons grief is so exhausting is because it asks us to live in two worlds at once—the one where our loved one is deeply missed, and the one that expects us to keep moving forward. Holding space for sorrow while trying to function takes an invisible toll. Even small tasks can require enormous effort.

Friends, when weariness settles in, gentle care matters. Reaching out to a trusted friend can remind us we are not alone. Journaling offers a place to unload thoughts that swirl endlessly. Simple acts of self-care—resting without guilt, stepping outside, allowing moments of quiet—can help steady a weary heart.

On my own journey, I’ve learned that strength often arrives quietly. Sometimes it comes through compassion—both given and received—and sometimes through stillness as I lean into my faith in God, that reminds me I am supported, even in the valley.

If you feel exhausted today, know this: your weariness makes sense. Take the next step gently. Healing unfolds one breath, one moment, one day at a time. Sending a warm hug your way, and continued prayers for comfort and peace. Remember, you are not alone. I’m on the journey alongside you ~ Pat