Writings

Just like a person convicted of a crime and sentenced to serve jail time, is grief a lifetime sentence? If you ask any parent who has ever lost a child, the answer may likely be a resounding yes. Yet, some have lost spouses and have been able to move forward in life with another partnerContinue reading “Grief – A Lifetime Sentence?”

Without realizing it, it occurred to me that I have often lived my life waiting for the other shoe to drop. It doesn’t take a session being psychoanalyzed to know this comes from the fact that both my father and daughter died unexpectedly. When a traumatic death occurs, we face the unfortunate fact that ourContinue reading “Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop”

Grief work is hard. It seems absurd to make that statement because anyone who has suffered a loss knows how difficult this journey is. We don’t get through grief by happenstance. It takes work to walk this road. After losing my daughter, I read as much as possible as I tried to piece together theContinue reading “The Fight to Flourish”

When walking through the grief journey, how many of us have heard, “We’re praying for you?” How many times have we said this to others? I know I’ve probably said it thousands of times. But really, when we say we’re praying for someone, what do we do? Do we have to quote scripture? Do weContinue reading “The Knower of My Everything”

Since Melanie ran ahead to Heaven, I’ve become more curious about the place that is now her home. Because that’s where my girl is, I want to know as much about Heaven as possible. As the years have passed, I realize I’m living on Earth with my eyes on Heaven. Have you thought ofContinue reading “Living on Earth with My Eyes on Heaven”

When we think of grief’s impact on us, our emotions come to mind first. Sadness, loneliness, the desperate missing, and mourning of our loved ones. But really, it’s so much bigger than that. Grief impacts so much more than our hearts. Tell me, do you feel tired all the time? Has your energy seem to haveContinue reading “Grief Impacts So Much More Than Our Hearts”

This is a frequent question among those who find themselves grieving. During the early days, pain is expected. Even as the weeks become months, there is an expectation and understanding that we are still in pain as we grieve the loss of our loved ones. But as time begins to move forward and the painContinue reading “How Long Will the Pain Last”

When I was told that my daughter died, it took my heart a moment to catch up with the words my ears heard. The first thing I felt was shock, followed by numbness. I’m convinced this is the body’s way of protecting itself. Looking back on those early hours, I’m in awe that I couldContinue reading “A Broken Heart Still Beats”

Each year the week before Mother’s Day, the world observes International Bereaved Mother’s Day. Who knew there was such a thing? I didn’t realize this until I needed to know. We acknowledge this day because no matter what the circumstance surrounding the death of our children, we would choose to be their mother over and over again. Continue reading “International Bereaved Mother’s Day”

When it comes to grief and loss, what do you think is most important – to have sympathy or understanding? According to Webster’s Dictionary, sympathy is a feeling of sincere concern for someone experiencing something difficult or painful. On the other hand, understanding is having knowledge about a subject or a situation. When my daughter first ranContinue reading “Sympathy vs. Understanding”

Today is Melanie’s birthday – her 4th one in Heaven. I thought I was going to fly right through this day – no problem! Hey, life is good. I’m feeling strong … until I’m not. It’s just a reminder that no matter how much time goes by our hearts will always be incredibly tender duringContinue reading “Wishing for The Wayback”

Recently I was thinking about the verse, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4 NIV. For those of us who have a loved one who ran ahead to heaven, we know what it’s likeContinue reading “Even in the Broken Parts Hope is Never Gone”

When the world around you falls apart, and you’re completely blindsided by life, you may wonder, where is God? Does he even exist? While many may cry out to him, others may ask, where is he? Is he even here? If so, how could he let this happen? If you’re like me and are walkingContinue reading “Accepting the Life We Didn’t Choose”

We are at a point in our home where neither my husband nor I can help our son any longer in math. When he came home talking about quadratic equations, my eyes rolled into the back of my head. But even without being proficient in this level of math, there is some basic mathematics IContinue reading “The Multiplication and Division of Grief”

When putting these two words together – grief and gratitude – it seems like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? Yet, as I continue learning more about the grieving process, it’s a term I’ve often heard used. There is a season when grief and gratitude can begin to co-exist sometime down the road. Gratitude during grief meansContinue reading “Grief and Gratitude”

The grief journey isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. Like sprint runners, we will not get through our grief in 1 minute 20 seconds. Several friends have run the Boston Marathon, which takes months of rigorous training and preparation. They need to practice running short intervals, then slowly, they begin increasing the time of theirContinue reading “Practicing the 3 C’s of Grief: Choose, Connect, Communicate”

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been waking up with a song in my heart – the same song and the exact words, over and over. If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know that music is one of the ways that God gives me hope and encouragement as I navigateContinue reading “A Firm Foundation Instead of a Slippery Slope”

Three years … 1095 days … 26,280 hours ago, you ran ahead to Heaven. It still seems like only yesterday and an eternity, all at the same time. Many have asked if it’s become any more manageable over time – the grief, the missing of you. I hesitate, but only for a moment because, indeed,Continue reading “Remembering My Girl”

Today as people gather to celebrate Valentine’s Day, let’s take a moment to remember that there are broken people with hurting hearts all around us. Although this day is traditionally one for many to share an expression of love with the special people in their lives, this may not be a day of celebration forContinue reading “Broken People With Hurting Hearts”

Grief, grit, and grace are three different words and meanings, but in some ways complimentary of one another. Not long ago, someone told me I had a lot of grit while grieving Melanie’s death. I was aware that the definition of grief is sorrow, misery, anguish, pain, distress, and agony – all facets of grief I keenly possessed.Continue reading “Grief, Grit and Grace”