Stolen Glimpses of Hope

Stolen glimpses of hope. These words were whispered to my heart as I lay in bed at 3:00AM, wondering what I would write about today. 

As a writer, I always want a few blogs in my draft folder, just waiting to be published. This alleviates any self-imposed pressure I may feel. As much as I love when I can do this, recently, that’s just not how my weekly blog writing has been unfolding. 

Since I’m a planner, not having something ready in advance goes against everything within me. I always pray about what I’m supposed to share with you each week, as I never desire to write just for the sake of writing. Over the past few months there have been moments as I’ve been waiting on this last-minute direction and inspiration from God that I’ve felt a little frustrated. I’m sure He’s teaching me something, like patience and trust. He’s still giving me just enough light for the step I’m on, but sometimes it sure would be nice to have a big spotlight so we can see the way ahead. 

I attended a conference this past week where one of the speakers was Katherine Wolf. From the words of a woman who is severely disabled in many physical ways, she spoke about how she has found treasures in the dark and how the what-ifs in life can plague us. These words resonated so strongly within me:  

“The what-ifs can be paralyzing and drive us crazy! The escape hatch of the what-if loop is hope! Hope is the escape hatch in all of our stories. Hope gives us permission—permission to live the actual life right in front of us. Did you know this? Hope allows us to be present in what is in the story. We get to trade anxious what-ifs for hopeful what-ifs.”

Wow! God is always teaching us things, even in some of our darkest moments. I know that this road of sorrow continues to teach me so much. When I get quiet and still before Him, I can see some of the things I’m learning and how He is giving me stolen glimpses of hope. 

I have learned to love more freely, with more compassion and understanding of others. 

I have learned that even though grief is one of the most challenging journeys I will ever walk through, there are glimmers of hope and light always waiting for me. I simply need to be ready to receive them. 

I have learned that I’ll never get over my grief, but I will learn how to live my life around it.

I have learned that life is short. We should let those we love know how much they mean to us and share the best of ourselves with them. 

I have learned to judge less and forgive more readily. 

I have learned to live more in the moment rather than pre-planning every minute of my day. 

I have learned that even though I can no longer see my daughter with my eyes, I feel her with me. I’m determined to take the best parts of her with me until I see her again in Heaven. 

The goodness of God is all around us if we can be still and allow him to show us His grace, mercy, and love.

There is a reason God led me to name this blog Hope During Loss almost five years ago. Even in the deepest parts of my grief, I believe in hope. There are stolen glimpses of hope all around us. If you’re still alive, God has a plan for you. There is hope during loss, and we actually get the opportunity to turn these ashes into beauty. May we do our best to stop living in the what-ifs and live with hope.