Searching for Happiness After Loss

When our world is upended by loss, and grief seems to be the most prominent emotion, life can seem bleak. As grievers, we’ve all been there. We can’t even imagine being happy again. But, believe it or not, there does come a time when we begin searching for happiness after loss.

Those early days of grief are the most challenging steps we will ever take. I will never forget those first few days after Melanie died. I recall the kindness of friends rushing over within the first 24 hours with hugs and hearts full of care. The doorbell rang with visits from well-meaning friends who dropped off food and florists who kept delivering beautiful flowers. But most of all, I remember the supernatural peace God poured over me in a way I had never experienced before. 

After the celebration of life service and once everyone went home to their own lives, reality set in. I’m glad I didn’t realize how long the heaviness would last before I could see the sunlight again. But the sun eventually did come. First, in brief flashes, cracks through the darkness. There were moments when I even found myself smiling or laughing, then crying in the next breath. Grief is such an array of emotions. Then, one day, we wake up, and without even realizing it, we begin unconsciously searching for happiness after loss. God never meant for us to remain in the heaviness of our grief, so he gave us this promise: “He heals the broken-hearted and bandages their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

Recently, I read something that said, “Happiness is fleeting, fickle, and often based on our circumstances.” The author believed if we chased happiness, we would likely end up disappointed by the very nature of life. Her point of view was that life is hard, often unfair, and even brutal. 

She suggested that we instead follow our bliss, which is entirely different. By following our bliss, it means that we will face our present reality with honesty and courage. Then, in the middle of it all, we can continue pursuing every spark of joy we can find – even if it’s only a tiny pinpoint in the darkness of our lives. This resonated with me. 

As time has moved forward, I yearn for the light offered by the hope in my Heavenly Father. This doesn’t mean there haven’t been tough days because there still have been plenty. Yet, I refuse to give up. 

Each day, I continue to look for the light in my life, which all begins and ends with my faith in Jesus. No matter how hard the days are, there is always something to be grateful for. We don’t need to look for the enormous audacious outpourings; instead, we can find joy in the small things that present themselves to us. Our happiness (or bliss) can be a grandchild’s laughter, the smell of fresh rain, a beautiful sunset, or even a delicious hot latte on a cold day. 

We can bring joy to others in our own hurt and loss. In doing so, we may find ourselves smiling once again. In closing, I’ll leave you with the words to the song, Firm Foundation, by Cody Carnes. The Holy Spirit woke me with these words a couple of nights ago. Take a moment to listen to the song below and let it bring hope, joy, and maybe even a little happiness to your heart today.

I’ve still got joy in chaosI’ve got peace that makes no senseSo I won’t be going underI’m not held by my own strength‘Cause I’ve built my life on JesusHe’s never let me downHe’s faithful in every seasonSo why would He fail now?He won’t!