Reflections

As we slowly enter a new year, we wonder what 2024 will hold. Yet, at the same time, it’s also a time for reflections. Reflections of the year just closing behind us. We will ponder the previous year’s events, which likely held moments of great joy and and even deep sorrow. Endings and beginnings. For me, 2023 had some wonderful milestones. Although I treasure each one, it still didn’t change the fact that this is another year without Melanie. 

Since 2020, as the calendar page turns to a new year, it’s the time I begin reliving my daughter’s last days. Soon our family will recognize another anniversary of the day she ran ahead to heaven. While God does make beauty from ashes the loss of a child can never be overcome. We can only move forward with God’s hand guiding us every step of the way and allowing Him to heal our hearts as we grow around the grief.

I’ve often written about the anticipatory days of grief typically being harder than the actual day. As the years go by, I’ve often wondered if these feelings would lessen or even stay at bay and not creep in. For those who are ahead of me on this journey, what has been your experience? As another angelversary approaches, do you find yourself thinking back and reliving the last days of your loved one? 

Recently, I read something that said we want to fast forward through the holidays and find ourselves in January. However, we also like to tip-toe backward to the last year they were with us and ours. This certainly makes sense. I’ll forever be grateful for the 38 years I was given to be Melanie’s mom. Now, as time progresses, I’m getting closer to the day I’ll see her again. What a beautiful reunion it will be.

In the meantime, I don’t want to be like Lot’s wife, who kept looking back. There is a difference between looking back with longing for what was, without moving forward. Or, instead looking back to see how far we’ve come. Continue reading here:Looking in the Rearview Mirror