National Suicide Awareness Month

Friends, I’ve wrestled with the prospect of writing about the topic of death by suicide for several weeks now. As we near the end of September, which is National Suicide Awareness Month, this continues to weigh heavily upon my heart. Since God hasn’t released me, I delicately step into a subject that deserves a moment of loving light to shine upon it today.

I have been hesitant to speak on this subject because of the care and sensitivity of those who have walked this journey. I do not in any way wish to misrepresent those parents whose children died by suicide as I do not have firsthand knowledge of this. My daughter, Melanie, died from an accidental overdose due to the disease of addiction. Yet, I’ve spoken with many parents walking this road through my ministry, Hope During Loss. I’ve learned death by suicide, just like addiction, carries with it a stigma in this world.

When a loved one dies by suicide, we shouldn’t be ashamed or afraid to speak of it like it’s a dirty little secret. Mental illness is a disease and illness, just like cancer and heart disease. In 2007, Melanie attempted to take her own life. Finding her and walking through that journey was one of the hardest things I had ever done during that time. Although she survived that attempt, after she ran ahead to heaven, I found several journals she had written in over the years. Imagine how I felt as I read over and over again how she wanted to die. As close as we were, I didn’t realize she truly felt that way, so I began to beat myself up and ask God why? Why didn’t I see how serious she was about this so I could have done something?

Not long ago, I read an article written by a mom who realized her son was suffering from depression. She began doing all she could to save him. They visited many doctors and hospitals, but, in the end, she was unable to stop him from harming himself. She did all she could as a parent, and we are not to be blamed.

I am reading Held Through the Storm, by Dr. Gary and Laura House. It is a compilation of stories written by 13 families about their children who died by suicide. My heart has been touched by each family’s love, strength, and courage. As their stories unfold, I have also found myself crying along with each of them.

As I read each account, the most beautiful thing is the hope they have found in Jesus and how He has carried them through. As we come to the close of September and National Suicide Awareness month, it doesn’t mean suicide loss goes away. If a loss has affected you and your family this way, please know you have nothing to be ashamed of. May you speak boldly of your child, say their name out loud, and understand your child is loved by the most High God. May He continue to wrap his arms around you as you continue to walk this grief journey as only he can.