Grief: There’s Hope for the Journey

If you’re at the start of this long road, please be encouraged that with grief, there’s hope for the journey. We are not meant to suffer through life alone but to lift one another up. Even if it may not feel like it right now, as we all have to take this step-by-step, I’d like to share a few things I’ve learned.

Grief has no specific timeline. Sure, there are some specific and often talked about stages of grief, but don’t be fooled like I was into thinking that once you made it through each stage, you could check it off like you’ve completed a test. It’s not like having an expiration date on a carton of milk. There just isn’t one. Grief becomes a part of who you are. It becomes woven into your everyday existence. Once I accepted this peace entered my life once again. 

Grief will often make you question your faith in God. The question of “Why” can haunt you. And, honestly – would any answer be good enough for us? Although we may never receive an answer to this question on this side of Heaven, I’ve learned to trust in God. It’s what has made me see that in grief, there’s hope for the journey. My comfort and strength are enhanced as I draw closer to Him.

Grief makes you more compassionate toward others. Before my daughter ran ahead to Heaven, I thought I was compassionate and caring. However, I realized there was still much more room for growth after she died. People do and say things to you along the grief journey that simply make no sense. Now that I’m on the other side of the road, I remember saying things like, “She’s in a better place now. Or, these things happen for a reason.” Now as I think of this, I cringe. Heaven is a fantastic place, but wouldn’t we all rather have our loved ones with us?  I’ve learned to extend a lot of grace as I’ve learned that people simply don’t know what to say. They don’t mean to inflict hurt – they don’t know any better. And, for their sake, I’m glad they don’t understand the road I’m walking on.

Grief makes you more intentional. In every facet of life, I have become more purposeful, which includes the invitations I accept and the people I choose to spend my time with. I no longer worry about the small things because once the worst thing happened to me, I realized how much time we spend on the little things in life. It’s incredible how I can look back and realize how I was concerned about unimportant and even frivolous things. Loss makes you look at your life from a totally different perspective.

The sun will rise again one day. Just hold on.

My friends, if today seems like a day when everything seems dark, just hold on. I promise you that there will soon be a day when the sun will shine in your life again. There are days when you will need to take it all moment by moment, but never give up. As we walk through grief, there is hope for the journey.