Grief is Like an Amputation

I read something recently that said our loss due to grief is like an amputation. Our nerves twitch and twinge as though the limb were still there. This is probably particularly true if the death came suddenly, without warning.

Here in the Southeast, many have been following the story of a young girl who was frolicking in the ocean with her family one minute and bitten by a shark the next. Despite having one arm and one leg amputated, this beautiful girl has shown remarkable courage, strength, and grit. Her family’s updates on social media have been a testament to her resilience as she powers forward to regain a sense of her life as it now is. She encourages me to continue fighting to flourish.

Just like a person who has undergone an amputation, they often have phantom limb sensations. They feel as though their limb is still attached and things are normal. Don’t we as grievers have moments when we begin to do things as though nothing as changed? During those early days, I remember the brief moments when I would simply have the thought, it’s been a while since Melanie called, and I’d reach for the phone to call her. On that first Christmas after she died, I remember finding something for her that I knew she loved and almost bought it before I remembered.

Grief is like an amputation – it has cut away and cut off all relationship we had with our loved ones since they are no longer here. It takes a long time to process, but we must hold onto the hope that one day, we will be able to move forward and honor their lives.

As I sat in church yesterday, we sang one of my favorite songs by Elevation Worship, “Graves to Gardens.” A few of the lyrics go like this:

Cause the God of the mountain is the God of the valley. There’s not a place your mercy and grace won't find me again.

As we continue to walk through this grief journey, take a moment to ponder this. There is no place on this earth where God cannot find us. He is the only one who can turn our mourning into dancing.