Deep Within the Walls of Grief

As we walked into the restaurant, there were people all around. Everyone was dressed so nicely. It was the beginning of Spring, and many women wore pretty dresses, and looked bright and happy. Then, as I looked around, I saw someone I recognized. The couple was quietly talking, and on the outside, they appeared to not have a care in the world. But I knew. They lost their son unexpectedly, and although it had been quite a while, deep within the walls of grief, their hearts were still broken.

How many of us could be this couple? Maybe as you’re reading this, you actually see yourself. Perhaps time has moved forward, and you’re under the misconception that you should be further along on this grief journey than you are. Or maybe you’re walking around with a mask on, greeting others with this façade, acting as though everything is alright. There are so many all around us who are walking through life like this.

If this is not you, I imagine you likely have a friend or family member who fits this description. If you do, I challenge you not to look away. I know it’s uncomfortable, and you don’t know what to say. But did you know that sometimes just being present for them means more than what you say? Invite them to lunch or coffee. Look them in the eye and ask them, “How is your heart? How are you doing today?” Take a moment to look deep within the walls of grief and love on them.

We interact with others daily, and unless we take the time, we will wander through life unaware of the hurt right in front of our eyes.

I’m sure you’ve heard the analogy that a person with a broken rib may be standing right in front of you, but you have no idea what is broken within them. It’s not like when we see someone with a broken leg. We can visibly see the cast and observe them hobbling around on crutches. Grief is a hidden hurt and brokenness not seen with the naked eye, but if we look closely enough, we will see it with the eyes of our heart.

There is a line from the song, Faithfully by Toby Macthat says, “I may look like the same man, but I’m half the man I was” … This is spot on for someone whose heart is broken due to loss. If you feel you’re half the man or woman you were, I encourage you to listen to the rest of the song. God is faithful to lift us out of the darkness. He will always be the one looking deep within the walls of grief and will never leave us alone or without comfort.