A few years ago, I realized something that surprised me: the anticipation of the anniversary is often harder than the actual day itself. If you’ve noticed this too, you’re not imagining it—and you’re not failing at grief.

It’s hard to believe we’ve already turned the page to December. Thanksgiving has passed, and now Christmas is quickly approaching — another holiday at our heels, another one to get through. For many, this is a season filled with excitement and joy. But for those of us who have lost someone we love; it can also bring a deep ache that seems to grow louder with each twinkling light and familiar carol.